1. Feel it coming on
Oh shit. You don't know how you know, but something in your body tells you you're about to be sick, and you're not happy about it. You do everything you can to ward it off. Tea, OJ, -quils both Day and Ny: you drink them all in hopes that they can prevent your stupid body from crapping out on you. Spoiler alert: they can't. That weird little tingle in your body doesn't lie and you're about to feel very bad. There is no fighting it.
2. Try to deny it
You might not be able to fight it, but you're sure gonna try to deny it. Sure, you feel like death but when have you ever felt good? Yes, your nose is runny, but that could just allergies and......okay, you have diarrhea, but it's not explosive. You can totally make it through the day! You put on your shoes and make your way out the front door, convinced you can beat this thing. Then you immediately barf in your front hall and have no choice but to accept the truth.
3. Reluctantly accept your fate
You call your work and tell them you're sick, and some reason you start to feel bad. You ARE sick, but for some reason you feel like you're lying. You play up your illness to make sure that everyone around you knows that this is not you being lazy. You really need to recover. You really don't want to take this sick day....or at least you didn't until you sat down and turned on the TV.
4. Try to make the most of it
Maybe sick days don't have to be a bad thing! I mean, they were awesome when you were a kid. You got to skip school and your mom waited on you hand and foot. Why does it have to be bad now that you're an adult? You put your feet up, grab some gross food because nothing counts when your sick, and look forward to a day of rest and relaxation. This is going to be great.
5. Get bored as hell
Oh wait, no it's not. Remember how being sick kinda ruled? Well, it turns out that having a mom to wait on you was a HUGE part of that. When you're grown up and have to take care of yourself, being sick is basically just sitting there feeling slightly less comfortable than you normally do. Television is nice for the first hour or so, but after that it starts to somehow feel more tedious than just staring at the ceiling. You feel like shit, but more than anything you feel bored. You want to rest up so you can get better and return to your old life, but resting is ironically somehow more stressful than the alternative.
6. Return to your life, feeling like you need a day off
After you finally get better, it's time to get back into the swing of things. You've wanted things to return to normal for the entire time you were out sick, and now you've finally got your wish. You wake up, get dressed, and head into work.....and boy does it suck. That day off really fucked with you. You've only been gone a brief while, but your normal daily return feels suddenly taxing in comparison to the day you spent recovering. You briefly contemplate calling in sick again, but fight the urge. As you trudge through the rest of your day you start to feel like you didn't appreciate your day off like you should have.